This is a very profound experience. When Dad first became awake and responsive, it was a joy and cause for celebration. Tonight was much more difficult. I tried the "squeeze once for yes, twice for no" method of communication. I asked him if he knew who I was, and he squeezed once. Good! I asked him if he remembered me visiting him this morning, and he squeezed twice. OK. So I went through the story again, telling him what happened and where he was, etc. He seemed to have a question, so I wrote out letters on a pad of paper and started pointing to them -- he was going to squeeze once when I got to the right letter. W! Ok: who? 2 squeezes. What? 2 squeezed. Where? 2 squeezes. When? 1 squeeze! Ok, I said: I'll tell you when it happened, when it is today, and when you might leave. That all seemed successful -- I understood basically what he wanted to know, and gave him all the information I could. But shortly after that he mouthed "help me" and started looking panicked and agitated. We tried again with the letters, but got all the way through to z without a response. I gave him the pencil to see if he could point to the letters, but that didn't work either. He kept grabbing my finger as if it would mean something to me, but I didn't understand. We went on like that for about 45 minutes, and never successfully communicated. At one point I thought he was pointing to the television set behind me. I said "Is your question about the tv?" One squeeze. Do you want me to change the channel? 2 squeezes. Do you want me to turn it off? 2 squeezes. Do you want me to turn it up? 2 squeezes. Do you want to know what's happening in the world? 2 squeezes. We just couldn't connect. I told him we would have to live with this frustration for a while.
Tonight I'm going to make a big chart of letters using a large font, and find something large he can point with. The tools we were using were just too fine and small for him to be able to use them. Plus, I began to wonder whether he really had a question, or if he was just frustrated and trying to communicate that. He was definitely not comfortable or happy.
This is very, very difficult. I hope we have better success tomorrow.
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4 comments:
hang in there, debby. take a deep breath, this is going to be a long slow process. we'll get there.
Hi Debbie,
I can feel your frustration and I can feel his as well. He is a very independent man and cannot communicate, move, talk, or anything really. That would be frustrating for anyone who has been on their own and has done so much on his own. He has been a very active man and now can't do anything. So, perhaps calming him like bringing the newspaper to inform him of things going on. I don't know him that well, but I'm sure talking about points of interest to him is a good start. Let him know that his home is fine and his cats are fine. His plane is being taken care of and on and on. Just hang in there. You will probably have some good days and some no so good days. Like Rick says, this will be a slow process for him and for the rest of you as well. All we can do is pray for him as much as we can. Blessings, Laura & Jonny
Good idea about making a letter board in a larger font. Perhaps have some pictures as well for common things that he might want to ask about. Car. Cat. Plane. House. Ricky. Etc. Perhaps the printed word YES and NO would be helpful. Does Uncle Dick wear glasses? If so, does he have them? Perhaps make a sign to hang on the wall that tells him it's Wednesday January 8th, 2008...and how long he has been in the hospital. (I'm iffy on that last part, but I'm sure the days are a blur to him...and he might not realize if he's been in for 2 days, 2 weeks or 2 months)
Is Dick right handed? If he's having weakness on that right side, I wonder if he has enough strength to point to letters with that hand. Holding a pencil and requires some fine motor skills, which he may not have control of at this point. Was he trying to use your finger to point at letters?
How is his temperature? Has that come down?
I can only imagine how frustrated you both must have felt at not being able to communicate yesterday. Let's hope/pray that today is a better day.
Looking forward to reading your morning message.
Cousin Carole
he's lefthanded
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