We got to the hospital this morning at around 7:45AM, and got about 7 minutes with Dad before they told us that twice a day between 7:30 and 9:00 visitors are disallowed in order for the ICU to conduct a shift change. My quick look at Dad told me that he looked pretty much the same, no better and no worse, and that he was asleep. So Ricky and I decided to proceed down to Fullerton to take care of the house chores, and we will return to the hospital on our way back.
We're trying to fix a serious leak in the kitchen faucet, since that will interfere with the housecleaning that needs to be done. We brought some tools from my house but not the right ones. So Ricky has taken Dad's car to go to a hardware store, and also hit the smog check place while he's out -- we found a notice for a smog check requirement in the house. I'm trying to take a first pass at cleaning, but it's too big a job for one person. I'm trying to arrange for a professional crew, but they don't work on Saturdays. So today we'll be limited to just a few chores. I threw out all of the perishable food I found on the counters and the refrigerator, tried to sweep up a little and take out the trash. But it is kind of overwhelming, and I ended up sitting on a garden chair outside for a few minutes, just to collect myself. Even though the news from yesterday's surgery was good, I'm feeling sad and unfocused today, and I doubt we will get nearly as much done as I hoped. I guess that will have to be enough for today.
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4 comments:
Hi Debbie,
I'm Tom Conklin's wife. It looks like the note he sent with his picture didn't come through. Your Dad signed our marriage licence over 23 years ago. He also came to Tom's 65th birthday party in Carmel Valley(that was 5 years ago.) We now live in Salinas. I'm a critical care nurse on a progressive care floor at our local hospital. It's equivalent to smaller ICU's. I have a pretty good feel from your updates how your Dad is doing. When people are on ventilators they often keep them quite sedated to make it easier to tolerate.
Don't feel bad if you are having a difficult day functioning. You've probably been running on adrenalin, kind of a shock mode. You'll have good days and not so good one's as will Dick.
Tom and I are praying for Dick's full recovery. I'd love to put him on our church prayer chain if that would be alright. Also once he's out of ICU and up for visitors we'd love to come down to see him.
Tom and Dick have been friends for ever. We got your e-mail with the blog updates yesterday.
Take care of yourselves. This is just as hard on the love ones of Dick as it is on Dick, only in a different way.
Say Hi to Dick for us.
Maryanne Conklin
Hi Maryanne,
Thanks for your note. I wondered whether there was a message from Tom, but it came through as just a picture. All good wishes, including prayers, are welcome! Dad presided over my marriage as well, so there's an interesting commonality. I remember Dad talking about the birthday party in Carmel.
I look forward to meeting you when Dad is ready for visitors.
Deborah
Hi Debbi -
I'm Richard, I met your dad a few times at the airport. I'm praying for his recovery.
Feeling overwhelmed is absolutley normal. All the chores that you've taken on - the housework and such - is wonderful, but if you can't do it, that's OK. That stack of magazines isn't going to get any worse. Just make sure the bills are paid, everything else can wait if it has to.
Deb and Rick - You guys are exactly where you should be right now. First you respond emotionally to the accident. Then you realize that there is nothing that you can do to help your Dad recover any faster...so you turn to the logical tasks that need to be done. The paper, the car, the mail, the cats, the food, etc. It's the only thing that you have control over right now. The pendulum swings both ways, and eventually settles in the middle...where you are now. You need to take care of yourselves, as this will be a long haul for all of you. Ups and downs as Maryanne said. Things will not move as fast as you or your Dad will like, but remember that they are moving forward.
Seeing a loved one on a ventilator can be scary. There are many reasons for using those machines. Sometimes, a person needs the machine to breathe for them. That happens when there is brain injury and the person can't breathe on their own. And then there are the folks who may not want to breathe deeply because it hurts. I want to put Uncle Dick in this category. He is a perfect candidate for pneumonia if he doesn't breathe deeply, so they are helping him when he can't help himself. Once he is off the ventilator, you will hopefully see more of your Dad returning. They won't have to sedate him as much, he'll become more responsive, and will be able to communicate with you more. I know that will mean more to you guys, and everything to him.
It's been awhile since I worked critical care, so hopefully Maryanne can add more up to date info to this. The things that you are reporting are wonderful signs for Dick's eventual recovery.
I want to read tomorrow's blog that Dick is alert and awake, and chatting with you guys...and that he's ornery, and anxious to get out of the hospital so he can check on things that are important to him. Ornery? Hmmm. Maybe that's my Dad and not yours. Anyway, it's not going to happen that fast...but I think that you will see changes happening over the next few days.
Hang in there guys.
Cousin Carole
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